Following
is the first installment of "The X-Phile," a column that I conceived
of and write for Brutarian Magazine. In that this publication is dedicated to
providing "degenerate art" and "trash culture for
intellectuals," this piece is perhaps more pointed and a little harsher in tone
than a lot of what I write. Suffice it to say, however, that I stand by the
sentiments it expresses. I have also modified it slightly for use here.
Several
years ago, I was getting ready to climb the highest mountain in the “Lower 48”
United States and went to an REI store in Northern Virginia to buy some of the
gear I would need. When I got there, the doughy sack of turds who waited on me
immediately began throwing around all sorts of technical terms I couldn’t
understand. When he saw that I didn’t know what he was talking about, he
apparently decided I wasn’t worth dealing with as a customer and assumed a very
unhelpful demeanor. Mind you, this fat douchebag had probably never climbed
anything higher than a stepstool to get a bag of chips off the top of the
fridge, but because I couldn’t understand his mountain fairy dialect, he
assumed a moral high ground and treated me like I was the poser.
This
episode went a long way toward helping me to understand some of the attitudes I
ended up dealing with when in late 2007 I began writing travel guides to
haunted places for the America’s Haunted Road Trip series,
first Ghosthunting Virginia and then Ghosthunting Maryland. This
allowed me to pursue professionally something I had already been doing to one
extent or another for about three decades.
What
I found when I undertook ghosthunting as public rather than a private activity was that far more people than I ever imagined had become involved in the
pursuit, inspired for the most part by the wave of television shows dedicated
to it. What was even more surprising to me, however, was the uniformity of
their attitudes, motivations, methodologies, and vocabularies — which,
generally, slavishly followed those of the “professional” ghosthunters they
were watching on television shows. “Back in the day,” what is now called
ghosthunting had been undertaken only by a tiny minority who had to figure out
just about everything on their own, relying on things like the limited number
of relevant texts that were available and comparing notes with fellow
investigators. Today, the number of people involved in ghosthunting is
phenomenally larger, but most of them are simply uncritically mimicking the
actions they have seen others perform and do not feel the need to actually
think for themselves.
So
to say that I have mixed feelings about the current state of “ghosthunting” in
particular and paranormal investigation in general would certainly be an
understatement, and I think a great deal that is both positive and negative can
be found in them today.
Pros
of the phenomena include that it has allowed people to feel more comfortable
discussing their own paranormal experiences than they might have in previous
years; that the pursuit has been democratized and vitalized by the inclusion of
so many people; and that more tools and practical information now exist and are
more readily available than ever before.
Cons
include that the relatively new phenomena of ghosthunting has become overly
standardized; that it has in many people’s minds been dissociated from the
broader field of the supernatural, which has certain dangers associated with
it; and that too many people pursue ghosthunting as if it were comparable to a
mundane activity like paintball, geocaching, or golf.
Television
shows and other media devoted to ghosthunting and paranormal investigation
have, of course, contributed to both the upsides and downsides of the pursuit.
It
may well be that you have considered attempting ghosthunting or some other sort
of paranormal investigation. If so, here are a few pieces of advice based on my
own experience that might make such an endeavor more productive and enjoyable
for you:
*
Don’t fixate on equipment (which I once inadvertently offended one ghosthunting
chick by referring to as “toys”). One reason the Germans and other
technologically-oriented nations almost always lose at war is that they are
fixated on paraphernalia and other bullshit and do not understand that flesh
always trumps steel. If you want to use equipment, that’s fine, but remember
two things: the equipment alone will not make you a paranormal investigator and that the lack
of will not keep you from being one. Speaking personally,
I generally use a flashlight, a digital camera, and a digital recorder in the course of my investigations, and depending on
your needs you could certainly use less or more (e.g., EMF meters,
thermometers). In any event, your mind is your most important tool and the only
one for which there is no electronic or mechanical substitute.
*
Don’t make “proving” anything your biggest priority. Skeptics and even other
investigators will sometimes challenge others’ experiences by claiming that
they don’t prove anything. Well, they don’t need to. Your ghosthunting and
paranormal investigations should be about personal growth and improvement. If
it is all about proving things to other people … Well, it probably isn’t going
to work anyway. What you experience should be meaningful primarily to yourself;
secondarily to your friends and loved ones, who presumably trust you to at
least some extent; and least of all — or not at all — to the world at large.
*
Don’t be a dick. It is amazing the lack of respect many paranormal
investigators show everyone around them, to include both property owners and the
spirits of the dead. Approach this pursuit with the good
manners that it warrants and avoid “ghost-baiting,” wrecking other peoples’
stuff, or making light of the people — living or dead — who you may be
interacting with. I can’t promise that anything bad will happen to you if you
don’t follow this last bit of advice … but I certainly hope it does.
That’s
it for now! Hopefully, this will all help you find your own way into, through,
and back out of the unseen world. And feel free to touch base with me
at ghosthunting@varhola.com to share your own thoughts about this and
related subjects!
"Visitors
to the Main Building clock tower on the University of Texas campus in Austin who
know nothing of its history might well wonder why it has security on par with that
of a regional airport. People wishing to enter the tower must do so as part of
an organized tour and are cautioned that after doing so they cannot leave
before it is over. The hallway leading to the tower elevators is guarded by two
armed police officers and a metal detector, and before going through it purses,
backpacks, and the like must be checked with tour staff. When visitors exit the
elevator on the 27th floor they will see yet another policeman and, when they
walk up to the 30th floor and the observation deck, discover yet another one on
duty there. The open areas of the observation deck itself is completely
enclosed in metal caging with spaces just wide enough to slip a camera through.
What is perhaps just as interesting as these stringent measures is that
absolutely no reference to them is made at any point during the 50-minute tour.
They are based, however, on terrible events that have occurred at the 307-foot-tall
tower since it was completed in 1937 and these, and possibly the spirits of the
disturbed individuals who perpetrated them, haunt the UT campus to this day." 
